The People's Champion

All Hail T-$!  I am your champion!  Beeeleeeevit!

After being at -1 through eight weeks and 43 points out of first place, I went 11-4 (including a league record 7-0 run) to finish out the season and win the title on the overall record tie-breaker over Meehoe.  While its impossible to say how it would have turned out, the -2 point late pick penalty in Week 7 may have ended up costing Meehoe $200.  Captain, who experienced an 0-9 run to end the season (also a league record), managed to hold on for third.  CDes/Bink finished with the best overall record, but gets nothing to show for it.  Gator rallied from -23 in Week 10 to grab the Closest to Zero money.

In the end, the money breaks down as such:

$325 T-$
$125 Meehoe
$75 Captain
$50 Gladiator
$25 CDes/Bink
$25 Packy

I may post some sort of victory speech, but I'm emotionally spent.  Honestly, I hope that everyone enjoyed this league as much as I did.  I don't know how many people even read these things, but I love writing them and laughing about it at the firehouse.  Thanks for making it a great season.

Week 13

Heartbreak.

Lots and lots of heartbreak

and tears.

That's what Week 13 is made of,

In no week do the "shoulda, woulda, coulda's" resonate so loudly as the final week.  The grandest of plans, the surest of picks, and the safest of unit allocations have a way of blowing up in your face.  For some, it was a matter of just missing a field goal or placing 4 units where they should have placed two.  For others, it was the culmination of a three week long free fall.  Regardless, the pain is real and the suffering is great for one knows that it will be 39 more weeks until there is a chance for atonement.

And a title.

Within the next 28 hours, we will crown our first champion.  Forever, his name will be associated with greatness.  While other champions will come and go and some may win with more units, there will never be another "First/"  For those about to rock, we salute you.

We have three people that are guaranteed money and four more that are battling for the Closest to Zero prize.  Here are the scenarios for Closest to Zero:

If KC and NY cover, Gator wins the money with 1 unit after the record tie-breaker with Dirty D.
If KC and Miami cover. Dirty D wins the money with 1 unit.
If Denver and Miami cover, Uncle PJ and Monty split the money with 3 units and identical records.
If Denver and NY cover, Gator wins the money with 1 unit.

Championship Money:

Captain will finish in 3rd and win $75.

If Denver and Miami cover,  Meehoe wins with the league, T-$ comes in second.
If Denver and New York cover, T-$ wins the league, Meehoe comes in second.
If Kansas City covers, T-$ wins the league, Meehoe comes in second.

Winners of the largest spread are:

College - CDes/Bink
College Vapor - Gladiator
Pro - Gladiator
Pro Vapor - Packy

Sometime in the next week I will try to put together your "baseball card" of information for this season in an excel document.  These will be used to keep track of all personal and league records from year to year.  Initially, it wont be much to look at, but it may turn into something cool.  Once that is done, I will update the league records and post the official rules for next year.  Just a reminder, the league dues will be $100 next season and must be collected in full before the season starts.  I will be offering a payment plan if necessary.

3 the Hard Way

The struggles among the top three continued on Saturday with each of Meehoe, Gladiator, and the Captain missing his pick.  This has left the door open for T-$, CDes/Bink, and Packy to finish first, second, and third respectively.  It would take a minor miracle, but it could happen.

Battle for closest to zero is hot and heavy.  Currently,it is possible for Hitman to get to 4, Yahoo to 3, Uncle PJ to -1, Dirty D and Gator to 1, and Spencer to 0.  There are a ton of possible scenarios so I will wait until tomorrow night to break them down.

Congratulations to CDes/Bink and Gladiator for winning the largest college covers.  $25 dollars are heading to each of them.

Here is a breakdown of the championship picture.  Meehoe needs Pittsburgh, New England, Arizona, and Kansas City to fail to cover.  Gladiator needs to hit both of his games and for either Arizona or Kansas City to fail to cover.  Captain needs the same.  If both Captain and Gladiator hit their picks and either Arizona or Kansas City fails to cover, they will tie for the championship and split the aggregate of first and second place money.  There are a handful of scenarios where T-$ can win.

Let's just say that it's going to be an interesting day at 1903 W. 10th Street.

It's the Final Countdown!

We may not be heading to Venus, but we are rapidly approaching the end of the inaugural Major League Lock Club season.  I hope it has been as interesting and fun-filled for you as it has been for me.  One thing is for sure, nothing is ever guaranteed.  In the middle of Week 7, Gladiator sat at 50 units with his closest competition sitting at 27.  It appeared that not only would he easily win the league, he would set a mark that would never be matched.  Then the drought hit.  Going 6-10 dropped him all of the way back down to 28 points.  Then it looked like Captain was going to grab the baton and run away.  He peaked at 47 units heading into Week 11.  An 0-6 run meant he fell all of the way back to 3rd.  Meehoe made a major move over Weeks 9 and 10 hitting 3 consecutive Vapors.  He reached 41 units before treading enough water to settle at 31, atop the leader board.  The bad news for Meehoe is that Gladiator still has one Vapor in play.  If Gladiator goes 3-0, he will be our champion.  If he fails, there are any number of ways that this thing could shake out.

Obviously, Meehoe, Gladiator, and Captain are the favorites to take home the title and finish in the money.  However, their collective 3-15 performance over the past two weeks has opened the door for T-$ and CDes/Bink.  These two have combined to go 21-7 over the past 14 games and are tied for the best overall record in the league.  T-$ currently sits four units outside of the money, while CDes/Bink (11) could still win the league if the epic collapse continues.  CDes/Bink have a difficult decision to make.  A perfect week could result in a money finish, if not a championship.  A perfectly terrible week would put them at 1 and tough to beat for the Closest to Zero money.  Either way, they have $25 coming back to them via the largest College Cover award.

While it will take a minimum of 21 points to win the title, 13 is the magic number to have a chance to finish in the money.  Aside from the five aforementioned members, six more still have a chance to get in the shade of the money tree.  Packy (9), Dirty D (7), Hitman (5), Uncle PJ (5), Spencer (3), and Well Tea (-10) can all get it done if things break right.  Vapors will be in play from Hitman, Spencer, and Well Tea.  In fact, Well Tea will have ALL THREE Vapors going.

Realistically, most of you will be playing for Closest to Zero.  The others rounding out this list are Monty Yahoo, Gator, and Cento.  Remember, the first tie breaker for CTZ is having a positive score.  The second tie breaker is overall record.  Overall record is the only tie breaker for the top prize money.  To be clear, ties count as a half of a win and a half of a loss.

So here we go.  It's nut cutting time.  Time to figure out not only what you are going to do, but what your competition is going to do.  Scourer the lines.  Crunch the numbers.  Pray those novenas.  Most importantly get your f-ing picks in on time,

Time to Make Your Move

Coming into Week 12, Captain was in charge, holding a 37-32 lead over Gladiator.  However, when Marshall failed to cover and Wake Forest and Minnesota did, the result was a three way tie atop the leaderboard between Captain, Gladiator, and Meehan.  A six unit loss for T-$ seemed to end his chances of winning the title, if not finishing in the money.  The rest of the pack seemed to be gravitating ever closer to 0.

Then on Sunday, no one could land that knockout blow to take command.  All three of the leaders whiffed leaving Meehoe in the lead by default.  Captain fell all of the way down to third.  T-$ managed to hold on to the slightest glimmer of hope by cashing in on a 2 unit win himself.  As it stands right now, the top four scores are 33, 31, 30, and 21.  None has more than 3 units on the NFL Night game.  One thing is for sure:  unless the Giants and Saints cover, Meehoe will be the leader heading into Week 13.  If that happens, it will be Gladiator.

We have two Vapor locks in play headed into the Night Games.  Both CDes/Bink and Gator are taking the Ravens, but neither went all in on their prediction.  Again, next week will be crazy with 8 Vapors in play.  It's time to work out your strategy, think about who your opponents will pick, and get your unit allocation right.

Polar Vortex

Not only is it lonely at the top, it's pretty damn cold up there as well.  Between the college and NFL Day games, the top four members of the MLLC went 1-7 for a grand total of -26 units.  Proof that misery loves company, both Hitman and CDes/Bink lost on a Vapor. So what does all of this mean? Gladiator has significantly closed the gap on Captain and moved back into second.  Packy fell from fourth into sixth.  T-$ rode his season record seven consecutive win streak into the freshly vacated 4th spot before losing on Sunday.  Uncle PJ is still in the mix for the top money as well.  Everyone else is playing for closest to zero.

The Night Games present an interesting mix of unit outlays.  The Pittsburgh Steelers boast a hefty 26 units including 2 Vapors.  Things are split pretty evenly between the Colts and Patriots.  I am the only dumbass willing to roll with the Titans.  A double underdog cover would make things pretty interesting.  A double favorite cover would solidify the top three with Uncle PJ being the only legitimate potential party crasher.

Big plays abound on Saturday.  The Hitman made his first Vapor play of the year, laying 11 units on Arizona State.  Gladiator (TAMU), T-$ (UTEP), Uncle PJ (Rutgers), Well Tea (Notre Dame), and Gator (Michigan State) all put six units on their Sunday picks.  Both first and second place laid 3 units on the Dukies.  

Duke, Clemson, and South Carolina all play at noon.  TCU plays at 3.  Northwestern, Notre Dame, Rutgers and Mississippi State all play at 3:30.  Texas A&M kicks off at 7:30.  Florida State and Michigan State both play at 8.  Finally, UTEP plays at 10 and Arizona State plays at 10:45.  Happy viewing.

Lots of Jerkface to Go Around

Week Ten was an interesting one.  After seeing the Gladiator at the top of the charts for nearly two months, we saw not one, but two different leaders over the course of the weekend.  Meehoe took the lead with his third consecutive Vapor Lock Win on Saturday, but Captain answered back with a Vapor of his own on Sunday night.  Meanwhile, the Gladiator managed to tread water with a +2 week.  At this point, the people are whispering...Is the Gladiator finished?  He is still clutching that NFL Day Game Vapor close to his chest - it may be his final shot.

Not everyone hit their Vapors, though.  Monty Yahoo (he of the six consecutive victories and 11 of his last 12) went down in flames with Sparty and Gang Green from Michigan State.  Spencer, who had been on a bit of a roll himself, also whiffed on his NFL Day Vapor when the New Orleans Aints failed to seal the deal.

There were a few monster covers as well.  Arkansas State managed to top their "pick'em" line by 35 points which put T-$ back in control of the largest College Cover.  That didn't last long though as a few hours later CDes/Bink's pick of the Marshall Thundering Herd rode off to a 46 point cover.  Seven different people took Green Bay and their 33.5 point cover.  Unfortunately for them, NFL Night games are not counted - if they were, it would have been a whopping $3.57 pull for each.

In other league news, no one went 0-3.  T-$ and Uncle PJ both pulled off the 3-0 hat trick.  Should be an exciting week.  There are officially three weeks to go (including this one - Week 11).  There are still 15 Vapors yet to be played.  Remember, any Vapor not played by Week 13 will automatically be played in Week 13.

Also, the following people have yet to pay:  Uncle PJ, Hitman, Dirty D, Well Tea, Spencer, and Cento.  Please make your payment as soon as possible.

A Dark Horse

Week Nine was indeed a memorable one.  Captain's relentless assault on the Gladiator finally came to a successful conclusion.  After going 1-2 in Week Eight, his perfect 3-0 Week Nine performance (which included a successful NFL Day Game Vapor) allowed Station 1's leader to become the leader of the MLLC.  Gladiator, who witnessed his demise from the comforts of a sports book in Vegas, had his worst week since Week Five, going 1-2.  Both men have a Vapor still in play.

Speaking of Vapor's in play, Meehoe became the first member to both play two Vapors and hit two Vapors in the same week.  His +20 unit outting not only squarely placed him in third place (and the money) but left him with an 18 unit cushion over his nearest competition.  With an eye on the leaders, he is still in the mix to bring home our inaugural championship.

Perhaps the biggest story is one that has been building under the radar for the last few weeks.  Coming into Week Six, Montez was sitting at -28 units with a dismal 4-11 record.  After an unintentional name change, Yahoo caught absolute fire.  Week Six = 3-0.  Week Seven = 2-1.  Week Eight = 3-0.  Week Nine = 3-0.  He is currently riding a league record six game winning streak and has climbed all of the way up to eighth place with +7 units.  He is only 3 units out of fourth.  With two Vapors in his pocket, ANYTHING is still possible.  For those of you wondering, his highest possible total would be 57 units.  If he stays this hot, it may take 50 to beat him.

Congratulations go out to the several members that went a perfect 3-0 in Week Nine:  Captain, Hitman, T-$, Yahoo, CDes/Bink, and Spencer.  As a group, we are sitting at a record of 201-173-4 (53.7%) with a balance of +131 units.  The unit balance is impressive, but the goal is to finish above 55%.  On the year, we would have to end up at +202 to break even in Vegas.  Keep in mind that our current total has been lessened by 14 penalty points (145).  While I did not go through and consider Vapors played/unplayed, our goal (on average) would be 140 after Week Nine.

Captain has officially dethroned Gladiator at the top of the pile.  Kansas City's cover gave Captain the 11 units he needed to reach the top.  Gladiator's 0-4 run didn't hurt either.  The fact that they both have Pittsburgh means that this will not change by the end of this weekend.  Meehoe is hoping to stake his claim to third place with another 11 unit Vapor play on Indianapolis tomorrow night.

The crown is up for grabs this afternoon.  If Kansas City covers, the best the Gladiator could hope for is to also cover.  This would land him in a tie with Captain, with Captain currently holding the tie-breaker (best record).  Coming off three consecutive losses, there are grumblings about whether the Gladiator still has that magic or if the law of averages is finally catching up with him.  Only time will tell if he can right this ship.

Meehoe also has big things going this weekend as he Vapor Locked both NFL games.  After missing his 2 unit college pick, he could still finish the week with 28 units and a chance to reside in second place.  Keep an eye on his plays.

As far as the rest of the league goes, the middle of the pack is still a mess.  Almost everyone is still in the hunt to finish in the money.

2-12

The only two people to win their Night game picks were Gator and Montez.  These sealed the only two perfect 3-0 weeks for Week Eight.  Montez/Yahoo used his 10 unit run to move into tenth.  Things really tightened up in the middle of the pack.  There is only an eight unit difference between 5th and 12th.  The question becomes will people make a run for that third place money or be content to play for closest to zero.

Crash and Burn

The Good News:  Gladiator once again reached the 50 point mark.  Yahoo and Gator not only won, but took control of the largest College Spread Cover with Wisconsin's monster cover.  The Hitman got back to even and Meehoe joined the 20 unit club.

The Bad News:  Aside from Dirty D, the rest of us failed, miserably in most cases.  Neither the Captain or Packy were able to keep pace with the leader.  T-$ went down in flames losing his final Vapor lock of the season (honestly I'm just glad Gladiator was not in Vegas yet or the damage would have been substantially worse).

Today's big play is the Indianapolis Colts.  Four league members have wagered a total of 19 units on today's titanic struggle with easily the most hateable team in all of professional sports.

Playing It Safe

Week Eight sees the MLLC playing it safe.  The lone Vapor Lock of the week is T-$'s Stone Cold Vapor Lock of the Decade - Utah State -17.  Put your mortgage on it.  Remember it's not gambling when you know.  Aside from that, there are only four 6 unit plays going on the rest of the week.  The only chance for a new leader would be for Gladiator to go 0-3 and the Captain to go 3-0.  I've got nothing else for you this morning.  Call your bookie and improve your life.

The Big Three

Let me start off by giving props to the five folks that were perfect last week.  Cento managed to reverse a -5 unit total and turn it into +5.  Uncle PJ managed to catch me.  Meehoe was perfect but still lost two points for failing to get his picks in on time.  That brings us to Packy and the Captain.  Not only did they go 3 for 3, but they also managed to pull in the maximum Vapor enhanced 15 units.  This cut the Gladiator's lead from 28 to 19.  While 19 is still a huge lead, there are a lot of Vapors out there and just under half of our season to go.

That's all for now.  Remember what they say:  Study long, study wrong.

Scream, Yell, Go Horse!

Whether it was Vontae Davis breaking ribs, Trent Richardson breaking tackles,or Andy Luck breaking hearts with that manly neck beard, the Colts could not be stopped Sunday...and neither could the Major League Lock Club.  For the third consecutive week, we went 10-4 against the number on NFL Sunday Day Games.  Add another 27 units to the total.

We started off the NFL Night Games by going 4-2.  Notable outcomes included Gladiator experiencing a rare defeat, and Packy and Cento running off five victories in a row.  Hitman is in position to do the same tonight with a Houston cover.

Is Gladiator coming back to the pack?  Is the creme rising to the top?  Are we all just on the hottest run against the number of all time?

Moving on Up!

I'll let you decide who is who from the MLLC in the above picture of the 1970-80's sitcom The Jeffersons.

Major League Lock Club members were definitely moving on up on Saturday - well everyone but T-$, Dirty D, and CDes/Bink.  The club went an astounding 11-3 against the number yesterday.  This is even more shocking than our past performances with NFL games in that we have pretty much sucked at handicapping college games so far this year.  Yesterday saw a reversal of that trend as we witnessed three 11 unit vapors hit as well as two other six point plays.  All in all, we finished +55 units on the day, bringing our college season total back to -1.  It also means that we are 33-9 over the last three categories.  That's just stupid.

So what did it all mean?  Well, for T-$ it meant going from being tied for third place money to now being 13 points out.  It meant that Captain pulled within 20 points of Gladiator and that Packy is sitting pretty.  Uncle PJ continued his steady upward climb as did Cento, Hitman, Yahoo, and Spencer.  In fact, after a horrible start, Spencer is threatening to break out of the negatives later today.
The Horse are the popular pick today with six members believing Blue will COVER THAT SPREAD.  The other eight picks are divided evenly between Baltimore, Cleveland, Arizona, and Chicago.  There are no locks in play, but Dirty D has 6 on Indy.  Gladiator and Cento also went with 5 on the hometown team.

Two quick housekeeping notes.  First, the issue with submitting picks is not unique to our site.  Our host company is experiencing some problems.  They have been contacted and are working on it.  Hard to bitch when they put the whole thing on for free.  Second, there is some confusion about how the Vapors are listed on the Pick Sheet.  The numbers you see are the number of Vapors a member has left in each catagory (College-Day-Night).  So if you have 1-1-1, that means you have all three Vapors left.  If you see 0-0-0, you have none left.  If you have 0-1-0 , you only have your NFL Day game Vapor left.  If you have any questions or believe that I have made a mistake, please let me know!

Good luck

Moving Day

Lots of big action being played today. We have not one, not two, but three Vapor Locks being played on Saturday all of which are of the 11 point variety.  On top of that we have two 6 unit plays.  Let's start at the top.  Captain has pulled the trigger on his first Vapor of the year taking the Duke Blue Devils to cover -2.5 at home.  The Gladiator wisely choose to play defense and took the Dukies as well.  If the Blue Devils pull it out, Captain will gain 8 units.  However, if they play like Dookie, JB will actually extend his lead while losing.  Packy used his College Vapor on Gerogia at -3.5 in a true Daily Double.  He could be sitting pretty at 22 units if the Bulldogs come through.  Spencer went with the Eastside Catholics at +4.5.  The Flutie Crew could bring him all of the way back to -1 after he was flirting with -30 just a few weeks ago.

The game with the most action was tonight's 8pm tilt between the Fighting Irish and the Raping Seminoles.  Meehoe, Well Tea, Cento,and Yahoo all see the Irish pulling off the miracle or at least covering that sizable spread.  Dirty D knows that Winston and the boys don't take NO for an answer.  The other widely played game was this afternoon's MSU vs IU matchup.  Shockingly, no one took the Hoosiers to keep it within a rather inflated +15.5.

Lots of units up for grabs today.  It should interesting to see how it plays out.

Meet Your Major League Lock Club - Well Tea

I present to you the Best Man in my wedding and the man that led to my being benched at Hanover, Jason Welty...

Meet Your Lock Club Questionnaire Form

Your Full Name:

Jason L. Welty

Your Desired Lock Club Nickname:

Well Tea

Birthplace:   

Naptown                                          

Currently Residing in:

Tallynasty

High School/College/PostGrad:

Avon – Hanover – IU via IUPUI

Sports Played and Level:

Football / Track – college, Basketball / Wrestling / Track – HS

Current Profession:

Chief District Legislative Assistant and Server

Greatest Sports Accomplishment:

3x All-American (1^st team, 2^nd team and HM)

Greatest Gambling Accomplishment:

Suckering the Beltera Casino into giving me a free room every other weekend while walking away up over a couple of grand during 2002 and 2003.  They still send me free stuff trying to recoup their money.

One interesting fact no one else in the MLLC knows about you:

I am acquainted with Corey Simon and he is still bitter about his time with the Colts.  He has a particular disdain for Jim Irsay.  I also once help Peter Boulware run for political office.

As of this moment in history, what is your favorite song: 

Nirvana - Something In The Way

You have the floor.  Pontificate on any topic that you would like.  Imagine that you have been given a segment on SportsCenter or 60 Minutes:

           

I’d like to speak about several topics. First, I was recently reminded of my father. For those of you who haven’t met me, my father passed away in February 2013 from cancer, which originated in his colon and prostate. So, gentlemen, if you’re that age, please don’t skip a screening. He hadn’t missed a screening for years, and the first one he missed ended up being the most important one. 

I play DOTA 2.

I once traded Alex Rodriguez for Christian Guzman, Dustin Hermanson and eventually Mike Hampton. Fantasy God.  To this day I still remember the description that Rotowire used for Dustin Hermanson “He’s 10lbs of nasty, stuffed into a 5lb bag.”

I have a desire to be a house flipper, but I have neither the capital nor the testicular fortitude to make it happen.

THE RAMS BLOW

Tonight was the rare Lock Club moment where it made sense to cheer against your pick in the hopes that someone else would suffer.  While a vast majority of our league had taken the 49ers to cover, Gladiator was the only one to drop a full Vapor fueled 11 units down on Coach Harbaugh's squad.  A victory here would mean that his lead would expand to 28 units.  A loss would shrink it to less than 10. Things were looking good for Meehoe (and the rest of the league in general) when the Rams jumped out to a commanding 17-3 lead early.  Then they woke up and realized that, while they may be the Rams, the suck monkey balls.  Even though they proved to be COMPLETELY inept offensively for most of the second half, they still had a chance to COVER THAT SPREAD in the closing minutes.  Down 10, whoever was playing quarterback for the Rams overthrew a wide open tight end at the 5 which would have almost assuredly meant a cover.  Then down 7 with with less than a minute to play, SF sealed the deal with a pick six.

So what does all of this mean.  JB is killing you, me, everybody.  There is a traffic jam for the next two money spots with Captain maintaining his 2nd place position and Meehoe and T-$ tied for third.  Packy is a mere 1 point out of the money. Well Tea and Dirty D are in the conversation as well.  The name change was huge for the artist formerly known as Montez.  Yahoo went a perfect 3-0 (as did T-$) and managed to move out of last place.  Blowing a lock meant that Gator now finds himself residing in the basement.

Overall, it was another amazing week.  After starting 5-9 on Saturday, we rallied to finish 27-15 on the week as well as 48 units ahead.  This brought us to 41-15 on NFL games over the past two weeks.  On the year, we are 129-120-3.  Not too shabby.

What a Day!

After going a dismal 5-9 on college action on Saturday,the MLLC took up right where it left off with regard to the pro game.  Club members notched an outstanding 10-4 record against the number during the games.  Including going 3-1 on Sunday Night Football, the league now sits at 32-14 over the last two weeks.  That is pretty amazing.  If San Francisco covers the spread tomorrow night, that number will jump to 41-15.  Those are crazy numbers.

Back to the Saturday action...the league started off a perfect 6-0 with the 1 o'clock start times.  Uncle PJ kept his hot streak going with a 6 unit win with Peyton and the Broncos.  Everyone else stayed modest with 2 or 3 unit victories.  The 4 o'clock games are where things really got interesting.  San Diego was the computer favorite to cover in a big way this week.  Captain and CDes/Bink were believing the hype.  Unfortunately for them, Raider Nation kept it respectable and the Lighting Bolts failed to "COVER THAT SPREAD!"

The biggest game of the week (unit allocation-wise) was the Arizona/Washington game.  This game featured four members selecting Arizona and one taking the 'Skins.  In fact, this game had not one, but TWO Vapor Locks placed on it (both on the Angry Birds).  The Cardinals took a commanding 10 point lead early in the fourth quarter and looked good to cover the 3 and a hook Vegas had assigned this contest.  Then, with two minutes left, they allowed Kirk Cousins and Frenchie to find the endzone and cut the lead to three.  After recovering an onside kick, it looked as though a field goal attempt may materialize so long as the Cardinals did not get a first down (they would just run the clock out otherwise).  Unfortunately, they lost enough yardage on 3rd down that they were forced to punt.  It appeared as though all was lost.  That is until MY MAN, RASHAD JOHNSON picked off a Cousins pass at the 28. My man could have just gone down and secured the victory, but I like to think he knew how that bastard screwed me over last week in the MSU/Nebraska game by being all "team first".  F that noise.  MY MAN RASHAD JOHNSON took that B-I to the house, securing Vapor Lock Victories for both T-$ and Yahoo!  Glorious!

Tomorrow night may be the biggest game of the season.  If San Francisco wins, it may be all over but the shouting.  Gladiator would sky-rocket to a seemingly uncatchable 42 points.  However, if they should fail, things will be getting mighty interesting.  Stay tuned!

Fire is Out

Saturday was not kind to the MLLC.  After coming off of a torrid Week Five, things got off to a rough start. The noon crew was all tears and heartbreaks as pick after pick failed to cover, many losing outright. Basically,if your nickname isn't Gladiator, Meehoe, Uncle PJ, T-$, or Yahoo, you were SOL (as of the printing of this article, Texas A&M has not finished yet).  The biggest let down of the day had to be Kevin's selection of Wisconsin for his Vapor Lock.  Normally the Whiskey goes down smoothly, but today Wisky's win was rougher than a particular fireman on B-Shift's mother.  To make matters worse, all of the winners aside from Meehoe only placed 2 units on their selections. The one positive thing that came out of today is that T-$ extended his Largest College Spread Cover to 28.5 with UAB's beat down of North Texas.

Big games on the slate for tomorrow. Both Yahoo and T-$ have Vapor Locked the Arizona Cardinals to COVER THAT SPREAD.  In fact, a total of 29 units were laid on the Cards by MLLC members.  Other teams drawing interest from multiple parties were the Denver Broncos and San Diego Chargers.

Week Five - MLLC Comes Alive

A documented 19-9 against the number is pretty amazing.  Congrats once again to everyone who contributed.  The 9-5 on the SNF/MNF game is nice, but going 10-4 for the Day games is something else.

It proved to be a big week for several members.  Captain and the tag team of CDes and Bink both were perfect for the week.  Cap used the opportunity to close the gap a little bit on Gladiator.  CDes/Bink moved from ninth to fifth.  Packy and Dirty D both hit Vapors.  Packy went from sixth into the last money spot.  Dirty D's big hit reversed the downward spiral he had been in for thepast two weeks.

It wasn't all sh*ts and giggles, though.  Uncle PJ dropped an 11 point Vapor but bounced back with two wins to limit the damage as much as possible.  As discussed earlier, T-$ is now the proud owner of the longest losing streak in league history (5 and counting).

Look for your invoice in your email soon.

Super Chargers

(Do yourself a favor and press play just before reading this update)

It was a huge Sunday for Major League Lock Club members!  The Day games saw our crew go an impressive 10-4 against the number.  Five of those folks took the SAN DIEGO SUPER CHARGERS who dismantled the New York S-U-C-K SUCK SUCK SUCKS.  That victory allowed Packy to grab control of the Largest Spread Cover by an NFL Vapor Lock.  Both our leader and second place man took the Chargers as well.  Meehoe had a nice pick in Cleveland which allowed him to gain 6 points (originally it was listed as 8 but that was a clerical error).  

Sunday Night Football was not kind to most of those who chose to play it.  First, last, Packy and T-Dummy all fell for the Cincinnati hype.  There was no way Tommy Terrific was going to let Andy Dalton come into his house and show him up, not after all of the heat he had been receiving over the past week.  Only Cento and Dirty D were smart enough to see this one coming.  In fact, Dirty D bounced back to win his final Vapor.  With that, he finds himself currently sitting in the shade of the money tree (aka 5th place).

I would be remiss if I failed to inform you that a new record was set tonight.  After one of the most gut-wrenching failures to cover I have ever personally witnessed late Saturday night, I went 0-2 again today.  That means that I now currently own the record for consecutive losses at 5 (and counting).  The awesomeness of my futility doesn't stop there, though.  Oh, no.  I also moved to 2-8 in NFL games this year - also a league worst.  So there you go.

The current standings can be found on the league homepage or on the active Pick Sheets link.  See you tomorrow night.

Bulls Do the Impossible

Gladiator's consecutive win streak finally came to an end today when the Buffalo Bills managed to keep it within 4.5 during their loss to Bowling Green.  Let's all pause and give some respect to what was a truly awesome run.  Just keep in mind that a 6 team parlay typically pays 40-1....okay, enough of that BS!  What else happened today?

Things started off with an 11 unit Vapor Lock kicking off at noon.  Uncle PJ had worked his way back up to +1 unit by going 4-1 over his last five.  A cover and he would have been guaranteed to sit in second place heading into Sunday.  Instead, ECU struggled to cover half of their -41 point spread and my man falls into a tie for 10th.

The bottom four members all continued their losing ways.  Montez extended his losing streak to 4, matching our league record to this point.  Hopefully he can avoid making history tomorrow.  The middle of the pack all did well but failed to capitalize with large unit outlays.  Well Tea suffered the double whammy of getting hit with the "late fee" and losing his college selection.  The night ended with an absolute gut-busting collapse by Michigan State for T-$.  Up 19 with four minutes to play, Sparty gave up a TD drive and a punt return for TD to get it under 7.

Games to watch (aside from your own) include the San Diego and Cleveland games.  As discussed earlier, Packy is trying to take home the largest NFL Vapor Spread Cover with SD.  Meehoe laid a fat 8 on the Brownies, taking the 2 points.  Best of luck to you all!

Week Five is LIVE!

As we enter into Week Five, there are a few items of note that are worth discussing.  First, this week the number of members that failed to submit their picks on time ballooned to 3.  Each owner (Well Tea, Cento, and Gator) was hit with the -2 penalty and only allowed to play 8 points this week.  In fact, as of the time of this post, Gator has yet to send in his selections.  At noon, he will be hit with a No Pick -6 for his college game.  He will then have until 2 pm to submit his two NFL picks.  We hope that he is doing okay as he has not responded to email or text.  His phone is going straight to voicemail.

Now, on to the matter at hand.  We have one Vapor in play in each category.  Uncle PJ has decided to roll with ECU today, throwing down the full 11 units with belief that the Pirates will cover the full 41 points against Eric Dickerson's alma mater.  Several other 4 unit plays are out there this week as well, including two marquee games (Texas A & M at Mississippi State and Nebraska at Michigan State).  Sunday's consensus pick is that the San Diego Super Chargers will cover their -6.5 spread against the incompetent Jets.  Five members dropped an aggregate of 26 units on this game including Packy's NFL Day Game Vapor Lock.  Packy's cousin, Meehoe, also placed a sizable number of units on Cleveland.  The MLLC's play for the NFL Night Games is for Seattle to cover the 7 points they are laying at Washington.  Dirty D stands in opposition to this consensus, taking New England +1 for his final Vapor Lock play of the year.

This should shape up to be an interesting week.  Great match-ups abound all day on both Saturday and Sunday.  Most importantly, there is still time to get Gladiator's picks to your bookie and make some real loot this weekend - were you somewhere where gambling was legal.

Meet Your Major League Lock Club: Gladiator

The next installment of the "Meet Your Major League Lock Club" focuses on James "Gladiator" Banks.  Simply stated, the man is on fire.  9-3 people.  At $110 dollars a game, he would have turned $1320 dollars into $1880.  Not shabby.  Bruh, get out of this league, get that Drop Money, and take a drive to Vegas!  Maybe Jerry will let you stay on his couch.

I have included the full transcript as delivered to me by Mr. Banks.  I have also included a brief glossary for the bolded terms at the end of it to aid all non-Ladder 1 MLLC members' in their understanding.

***The following is an update offered by Mr. Banks

Meet Your Lock Club Questionnaire Form:

Your Full Name: James Richard Banks Sr.

Your Desired Lock Club Nickname: Gladiator

Birthplace: Cincinnati Ohio        

Currently Residing in: Indianapolis (a.k.a. Fire Station 1) Lol.    

High School/College/PostGrad: West Hi. ISU. And The Streets!

Sports Played and Level: Elementary School. "Legend". I've been spotted playing some HS, College, and Professional ball, Until finally at the firefighters combat challenge in Dallas and got my walking papers by Sir Tom, who wore a Fedora! Look it up if you don't know who I'm talking about!

Current Profession: Prestigious LC Member and Firefighter/Meter Reader/Director of the Lady GymRats "You Know"

Greatest Sports Accomplishment: Scoring the winning TD for West Hi against Elder in the now Great American Ball Park which replaced Riverfront Stadium. Running right in the zone where the Reds Dugout now sits. We hadn't beaten those R.N. Panthers from Elder since a
Pete Rose lead team did it. Word on the street is laid 2 stacks on the Mustangs to Win 20 years earlier. "Allegedly". West Hi got another win 20 years later when they bused a real bruh "Me" to West Hi! For you historian, Yes, Me & Pete Rose played at the same high school. 

Greatest Gambling Accomplishment: $5 G on the Hoosier Lottery!!!

One interesting fact no one else in the MLLC knows about you: I scalped tickets while playing game on Friday night in HS. I had the took up with some dude in the AD's office. I'm S. T. N. with some common sense!!!

As of this moment in history, what is your favorite song: Too Hard, but give me R&B any day of the week.

You have the floor.  Pontificate on any topic that you would like. Imagine that you have been given a segment on SportsCenter or 60 Minutes: 

I want to be on XM radio: UNCENSORED!!! Talking Trash or Shit. You decide which on you want. LOL!!!

Whatttttt??? "Pontificate"
First off, I didn't know what the heeezzz "Pontificate" was! That's some T-$, Commish, and W-1 shit! He's always trying to trip someone up with Big Ass words! At least for me they are. Lol. So why couldn't he just say speak on a topic. Pontificate! Get the Phuck out of here. I thought it was form of diarrhea. Now com'on man, was I the only one scratching head or looking in the dictionary for that one!  

I'm talking straight Bullshiggiddy!!! It's a Avondale thang. You might need a police escort if you happen to go through there these days. Well, Well, Well, lookey lookey. I stole that from Sha NaNa. What really going On? That's mine. Y'all messing with the wrong NWA. Just trying to be funny here. Ha Ha Ha. 

Y'all are getting ready to get the businazzzzz!!! I'm going to put this thing to bed early. So give me my MONEY !!! Commish you should have ask me for a resume before you let me in this all W'dub's Club! "Allegedly". It's no hoods allowed! Huh? You have to have a honest job to be in this fraternity! You can't be hanging on the porch in your lumberjack shirt waiting for someone to drive down the street to make a deal! Lol. Remember don't tell the other members that I'm giving you a cut after I win everything. So keep it on the Low!

Fellas this is FUN. Watching y'all poor S.O.B's struggling. This Lock Club stuff is for grown folks. My Bruh's, that's W'dub's too, sit back and take notice, as Gladiator gets locked-in, it's the Vincent Carter sign after he won the Dunk Contest, it's over!!!  Are y'all not entertained! I need to take some dirt and throw it in y'all face. This is too easy!

And I'm out this Mikey Flick!

This Is Gladiator!!!
Yeahhhhhhhh Boyyyyyyyy

Glossary
Avondale - What be like a neighborhood of Indianapolis that's straight-up hood!

Bruhs - African Americans 

Bullshiggiddy - phrase coined by Huggy Lowdown meaning nonsense.

Firefighters combat challenge -  This is and athletic event related to a firefighters job. I participated in one down in Dallas.

Sir Tom in a Fedora - Had Tom Landry tell me he had to let me go. (Got Cut)

Get the businazzzz - to be on the receiving end of a vigorous session of sexual intercourse or just getting fucked up

heeezzz - heck or hell

ISU - Indiana State University

Lady Gym Rats - Nike Elite AAU program; have won national championships

Mikey-Flick - mother fucker

NWA - originators of "gangsta" rap, one of whose members use to drive a Feet-2-10

R. N. Panthers - Redneck Panthers; Elder High School Panthers; all-male Catholic high school in Cincinnati famous for their concrete bowl stadium "The Pit."  Google it.

S.T.N. - Still that NERGO

W's - Caucasians


W-1 - Head Caucasian at IFD Station 1

How 'bout Them Cowboys!

It was a crazy week full of ups and downs.  Only one person went 3-3 (our leader, Gladiator) and only one person went 0-3 (Montez, currently 14th of 14).  We had four people start in the negative and finish at even or better for the year, while busted Vapors ensured that Dirty D and CDes/Bink would experience the opposite fate.  As a league, we were 0-3 on Vapor Locks total and saw our League Net Unit Total for the Season fall to -24.

The big mover of the week was Well Tea who overcame a -2 penalty for failing to submit his picks on time to move from 7th into 4th.  On the flip side, this week's biggest losers were Dirty D and CDes/Bink.  Dirty D continued his plummet, going from 6th to 11th.  CDes/Bink went from fourth with 6 points to 9th with -5 points.

Gladiator is currently riding the longest consecutive win streak of the season at six in a row.  The longest consecutive loss streak is a multiple way tie at 4.

1 Not the Loneliest Number

Things did not start off well for the MLLC early on Saturday.  While TCU came out and took care of business for Uncle PJ, the other early games were not so kind.  Dirty D saw his consecutive loss streak reach four as PSU not only failed to cover but got pounded like they were one of Jerry's Kids in the showers.  The Hoosiers were, well, the Hoosiers, letting the Captain down in the process of getting run off the field by a bad Div 2 team.  Add Wisky failing to cover to this motley crew and you have a lot of long Lock Club faces.

Things took a change for the better for most members from here.  The lil' BG's managed to cover by 0.5 points for T-$.  NC State kept it close for Well Tea who bounced back well after being hit with the "late fee."  The Irish proved their -9.5 line wasn't just a sucker bet for our resident ND supporters, Packy and Cento.  Even Ole Miss managed to pull through with a huge TD on 3rd and basically goal in the final minute of their game for an improbable cover.  However, it wasn't all rainbows and lollipops as the Dreaded Duo of CDes and Bink lost their 11 unit College Vapor when Mizzou managed to steal one from the OBC's 'Cocks.

So where does that leave us?  Gladiator is still "killing" every one (see what I did there).  T-$ treads water in second.  Then comes the pile up.  Meehoe and Well Tea are tied for third with 2 units.  Captain, Dirty D, Packy, and Uncle PJ are all tied for fifth with 1 unit.  Cento and Gator continue their climbs out of the negatives while CDes/Bink fell from a tie for third all of the way to 11th.  The Hitman fell into twelfth, and the bottom two spots remained the same.  On a side note, if the Nebraska score holds, Spencer will break his consecutive loss streak at four.

Meet Your Lock Club: Dirty D

Welcome to the first post of a new regular segment here, "Meet Your Major League Lock Club."  Over the next few weeks, I would like to feature every member on here in an effort help people get acquainted.  We truly have an interesting and diverse group of men gathered here with some fascinating back stories.  In future editions I hope to take the answers provided via the survey I send out and compose a fresh write-up, but I felt like Dom more than answered the bell this week.  I'm just going to paste his replies here.  Again, feel free to log in using a gmail account and leave comments and feedback.

Da Bears!!! - Week Three Review

Monday Night Football brought with it the last of the first five Vapor Locks played this season.  T-$ laid 9 units on the Bears, taking the 2.5 points.  He wasn't alone in believing in Da Bears as 10 others choose Chicago as their S/MNF pick.  Their faith was well rewarded with an easy cover.  Tonight also officially marked the largest number of MLLC members in the same place to watch a game (4).

Week Three was a much better week for the MLLC.  After going a collective 11-29-2 last week, Club members rallied to pull off a 26-16 mark this week.  They also improved from -54 units last week to +34.  Who had big weeks?  No one was bigger than the Gladiator who moved from third into first.  Going 3-0 with a Vapor Win allowed him to gain a 12 point lead over his closest competition.  That would be T-$ who also gained a Vapor Win while picking 3 of 3 games correctly this week.  This propelled him from 7th into 2nd.  Uncle PJ made a major move as well going from last to 8th by nailing his lock.  Dom and Spencer didn't fair as well.  Dom went 1-2 but missed his College Vapor.  This dropped him from being in first with 10 points to sixth place with three.  Spencer took home the Golden Sombrero as he ran his consecutive loss streak to 4.  The King has last place all to himself at -24 points.

Look for the official MLLC lines for Week Four to be published midday on Thursday.  Hopefully I will be able to provide a link instead of forcing you to download it - just like the Pick Sheets.

Have a great week!

More Vapor Action

Yesterday's action saw two of the top players in the MLLC play their first Vapors.  As noted earlier, one was propelled into a healthy lead while the other has since fallen all of the way into sixth.  Today's action saw two teams at the bottom hitch their fortunes to the fabled Vapor Lock train.  How did it turn out for them?

Cento decided to place 10 units and his NFL Day Game Vapor Lock on the Dallas Cowboys.  Things were looking bleak (down 21-0) until the Cowboys rallied late to cover the 1 point spread.  Not only did this help my man move from next to last into a tie for eighth, but that 2 point cover puts him in the lead for largest NFL Vapor Cover.

Uncle PJ also went all in this week, placing 11 units on New Orleans to cover their 10 point spread against Minnesota.  Despite being one of the hardest games of the day to watch, DREW BREES and the boys managed to best Teddy Bridgewater's gang by 11.  This Vapor Cover moved Uncle PJ from last into a three-way tie for eighth with the aforementioned Cento and Packy.

The S/MNF picks are interesting.  Two folks took Carolina (-3.5) while one took Pittsburgh (Gator).  Everyone else took Chicago (+2.5) with the exception of the Hitman.  Stay tuned.

You Caught the Vapors

Vapor Lock play got underway this Saturday with both our leader (Dom) and Gladiator throwing down a bonus five spot on Cincinnati and TAMU, respectively.  The Vapor giveth and the Vapor taketh away...

The first Vapor Lock of the season saw TAMU easily cover a 33.5 point spread over a hapless, Eric Dickerson-less SMU squad.  In fact, they covered by 18.5 points, leaving the Gladiator in sole possession of the largest College Vapor spread of the season (that and he was the only one thus far).  Gladiator maximized his unit allocation to gain the full 11 units from his victory, moving him into first place with a total of 17 units.  Our leader heading into the week, did not fair as well.  Dom dropped his first Vapor Lock when Cincinnati failed to cover their 28 point spread against Miami of Ohio.  However, he minimized the damage by having only placed 7 units total on the game.  It is still possible that he could come out on the plus side of the week.  The loss temporarily dropped Dom to fourth place with 3 points.

Major League Lock Club Website is Up!

As of noon on Sunday, September 21, the Major League Lock Club website is live!  Check it out and stay posted for the latest news.  The site can be found at http://mlcc.x10host.com