Monday, September 28, 2015

Perfection is Perfected

If Week Two saw the league come to life, Week Three saw it become a monster.  The worst we did in any category was 9-5.  That’s pretty awesome.  Had you been betting with the MLLC this week, you would have left the book up $127.  The final mark was 27-13-2.  So without further ado, here are the Big Three for Week Three of the MLLC:

3.  Meeh-0 – What a difference a year makes!  Nine months ago, Meehoe missed winning the inaugural MLLC Championship by a tie-breaker.  Fast forward to last Saturday, he lost the league’s first Vapor Lock (a full 11 units) to fall to -23.  No one has ever come back from more than -20 to win the MLLC.

2.  The Undefeated – Captain, Silky Johnson, Uncle PJ, Gladiator and The Whole F’n Show all managed to avoid taking an “L.”  Silky, PJ, and the Show all went 3-0.  Gladiator and Captain added a tie to two wins to round out their weeks.  Captain has now extended his current unbeaten streak to six.

1.  The Dream – The Whole F’n Show brought home the coveted +15 point week.  While it had to be painful to watch his beloved Bears getting absolutely drubbed by Russell Wilson, claiming the first successful Vapor Lock of the year had to provide some solace.  It immediately vaulted him into title contention.


Honorable Mention – Silky Johnson, Uncle PJ, and Captain all laid claim to the largest cover of the year when the Arizona Cardinals absolutely decimated the 49er’s.  Unfortunately, $50 divided three ways ain’t much.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Vapor Season Begins

First off, I need to make you all aware of some changes that have occurred.  Three hours before our picks were due in Week One, Cento informed me that he was dropping out.  I quickly scrambled and tried to find a new owner.  Gladiator said he had someone interested in doing it –New Guy.  He then proceeded to fund New Guy’s entry fee earlier this week.  To make a long story short, we have had some major communication issues (most of which are on my end), and he has yet to make his own picks once through the first three weeks.  I have decided to remove him from the league and refund Gladiator the extra $100.  This means that we will be working with a pot of $1350 instead of $1450.  I wanted to keep the smaller prizes at 50% of your entry fee and the champions pot at half of the total pot.  This means that the prizes for 2nd and 3rd have been adjusted down to $300 and $125 respectively.  These totals do not reflect the winnings listed in the rules, but this is a special situation.  We will be back at 15 players for next year, and the payouts will be adjusted accordingly.

And now on to the good stuff….There will be quite a bit of Blue and Maize being donned on Saturday afternoon as four different MLLC members like the Mighty Michigan Wolverines -5.5 to take care of business at noon on ABC.  The Whole F’N Show, The TOMizzle, Golf Coach, and Gator (all immediately connected to Purdue in one way or another) elected to stay away from the Boilermakers’ last winnable game; instead choosing to throw their support behind Coach Harbaugh.  It is also of note to see a change in tactics by Gator.  This noon start should allow him the opportunity to focus on nothing but pimping from 4 o’clock on instead of having to rush his hoes out on the streets before a late night kickoff.  Noon also sees our fourth and fifth place members going somewhat head to head.    The King, currently in fourth place, will hope the Navy Midshipmen -6.5 (CBSSN) can right his proverbial ship.  Just like his favorite presidential candidate, Chris Christie, Uncle PJ will be pulling for the Rutgers Scarlet Knights -12.5 on the BTN.  Last but not least, noon brings with it our FIRST VAPOR LOCK of the year.  Meehoe, fresh off of his first victory of the season, has thrown the gauntlet down taking Georgia Tech -9 (ESPN2) for the full 11 units.  A victory would put him at -1 and right back in the mix.  A loss would mean falling all of the way to -23.

Dirty D choose Indiana -3.5 (12:30 on ESPN3) as they travel to Wake Forest in what should be a fascinating match-up of two completely insignificant Power 5 teams.  At 3:30, the Gladiator to be Named Later will be smoking it up and wearing a dreadlock wig in honor of Heisman winner Ricky Williams’s alma mater, the University of Texas Longhorns (ESPN), a three point home dog against the Cowboys of OSU.  Silky Johnson will be singing Rocky Top and sporting his Tee Martin jersey as the Tennessee Volunteers +1.5 head into the House that Tebow Built on CBS.  CDes/Bink went with the 4:30 clash of the titans between TCU -7 and Bob Knight’s Red Raiders.  I’ve seen predictions all over the board for this one, but CDes/Bink are due for a college win.  After going 9-4 in college games last year, they have started off 0-2.

The late night MLLC action will feature the best and the worst of us so far.  Our leader, literally and figuratively, went with hype-man Kevin Sumlin’s Aggies -7 as they travel to face a dangerous but underperforming Arkansas squad.  That game will be featured on ESPN.  Last and technically least for the time being, Brother of Nuggs selected the Northwestern Wildcats -19.5 (BTN) to hold serve over the Ball State Cardinals.  Had I not taken Ball State last week, I probably would have taken them here.  I predict…Chirp, Chirp, Chirp.


As always, best of luck to you all!

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Week Two: The Captain Strikes Back

With the Week One jitters squarely behind us, the Major League Lock Club looked to get its bearings and begin to settle down in Week Two.  After another rocky College Saturday, the crew flexed their formidable NFL muscle.  Our 18-12 record on NFL games would have netted us $48 on thirty $11 bets.  There were definitely some movers and shakers in the standings this week.  Here are this week’s Big Three:

3.  Hitman and Silky Johnson:  They grabbed the title of Largest NFL Day Game Cover by taking the Cardinals over the hapless and Cutler-less Bears.  In a game witnessed first-hand by at least one MLLC member, the Cardinals seemingly could have spread the lead to as large a number as they wished.  Luckily for other MLLC members, the benevolence of Coach Arians was on display yet again, eventually settling for a 23.5 point cover (no way that stands by the way).

2.  The New Guys:  While the New Day rocks, the New Guys still suck.  While they did manage to improve upon last week’s performance, 5-10 is hardly anything to brag about.  They were led by the 0-3 performances of The TOMizzle and Brother of Nuggs.  This leaves the Whole F’n Show as the only new member to avoid the dreaded 0-3 tagline (after two weeks).  Yikes.  The good news is the Old Guys went 17-12-1 which is very respectable ATS.

1.  Captain:  Only a week removed from setting the bar for consecutive losses at 10, the Captain exploded for a perfect 3-0, +10 unit week.  Once again, he has written his name in the record books, this time tying Silky Johnson for the most all-time 3-0 weeks.  He also moved from a tie for 7th into sole possession of 1st.  Once the Captain gets hot – look out!


Honorable Mention:  Everyone – After last night’s embarrassment of a Monday Night Football game, everyone has selected at least one winner.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Will We See History Yet Again?


The odds of going 0-10 when picking against the spread are exactly 1:1024.  Yet for the second week in a row, we find ourselves on the verge of witnessing this strange feat.  Last week, Captain finally shook the “50 point curse” and reversed his luck.  Today, his engineer will hope to do the same and avoid having his name etched into the Wall of Shame.  A once proud and dominating member of the MLLC, Gladiator has fallen on tough times. Heading into today’s action, he is in dead last place with an impressive 0-4 record and -15 units.  He has chosen to ride with his home city Bengals for his NFL Day Game pick.  For those of you unfamiliar with this phenomenon, anytime Gladiator bets for or against Cincinnati, it is a mortal lock the opposite outcome will occur (so much so that I legitimately almost changed my NFL pick after seeing his but ultimately decided that would be dirty pool).  All signs point towards the streak reaching 10 at which point Gladiator will officially be renamed Sadiator.

Elsewhere, you guys still can’t pick college games.  After going 5-10 last week, we somehow fell to 4-10-1 this week.  Five members are still searching for that elusive first win.  Only 3 members are above 0.  There really is not much more I can say.  As far as today is concerned, the Baltimore and Dallas games are the only 4 o’clock picks today – all other games start at 1.  The King has a fat 5 point outlay on Tennessee, as does Brother of Nugg on the G-Men.


As always, good luck to you all.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

College Game Day Week 2: Re-do


Welcome back to Week Two of Major League Lock Club.  After stinking up the joint last week, the boys are trying to right the ship!  It all started just a few minutes ago when Northwestern +3.5 (The King) kicked off on ESPN3.  Next up is the MLLC Super Saturday Spread Game of the Week.  The Oregon Ducks -44.5 (The Whole F’n Show and CDes/Bink) will be taking on the Georgia State…um…er…Inbreds (?) +44.5 (Dirty D) at 2 on the Pac-12 Network.  

3 o’clock brings us to the Mighty MAC portion of contests.  Reigning champion and 2002 Player Hater of the Year Silky Johnson will be watching the Ball State Cardinals -5.5 on ESPN3.  Hitman, straight off of his HS team’s demolishing the mighty Pike Satans, has Bowling Green +3 on ESPN3.  Finally, the Gladiator to be renamed later will also be tuning into ESPN3 to see the Mighty Temple Owls hopefully bring his streak of 8 consecutive losses to an end.  At 3:30, the Mr. Runner-Up Meehoe will be cheering against his birthright as he pulls for the Ramblin’ Wreck -2.5 to take down the Irish on NBC.  The TOMizzle, who proved to be the best of the newbies so far, has THE Ohio State University -34.5 going at 3:30, but my source did not list a television station.  The last afternoon MLLC contest starts at 4 with the Captain (currently riding a two game winning streak) taking the Mighty Hoosiers -1.5. That titanic struggle can be viewed on ESPN News.  

7:30 is the kickoff time scheduled for Brother of Nuggs’ Kentucky Wildcats +3 on the SEC Network.  The evening games bring with them the tales of the extreme.  The last two members currently listed on the standings sheet have USC -10 (New Guy) and Alabama -6.5 (Golf Coach).  Those games can be viewed at 8 on ABC and 9:15 on ESPN respectively.  Currently listed in second place, Uncle PJ also took the Crimson Red Asses.  Finally, our leader, Gator – coming off a week where his hoes collected a league best 6 units, has taken the Snoop Dogg Jr-less UCLA Bruins -17.  The 10:30 (Fox Sports 1) start once again gives him plenty of time to get his “affairs” in order.


Best of luck to you all!

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

A Big, Stinkin' Pile

Hey, look!  It's a big pile of our picks from Week One.  We were able to put together an amazing 13-32 week.  Had we actually laid $10 ($11) on each game,we would have left the sports book down $222.  Nice job everyone.  Here is this week's Top Three:

3.  New Guys Suck - Our five new members did their part, going 4-11.  That's even worse than our pathetic league average.  Thanks for donating.  In fairness, The TOMizzle did go 2-1, besting many of our veterans.

2.  Gladiator is On a Mission - Now that the bar for futility has finally been set, Gladiator will not rest until his name holds the record for consecutive losses on our Wall of Shame.  This week's 0-3 output runs his total to eight, with the league record (10) clearly in his sights.

1.  The Six Stooges - We set another record this week with SIX different members going 0-3.  Hats off to Gladiator, Golf Coach, New Guy, Meehoe, Hitman, and Dirty D for coming together to pull off this incredible feat.

Until Wednesday.....

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Let's Get Ready to Gamble!!!!


LET’S GET READY TO GGGAAAMMMMBBBBBBLLLLLEEEE!!

Gentlemen, the long gambling winter from the end of March Madness to the coming of Lord Football (known as baseball season) has finally ended.  In mere minutes, Season II of the Major League Lock Club will kick off.  Gone are Well Tea, Monty, Packy, and Cento (an absolute last minute scratch).  In are the TOMizzle, The Whole F’N Show, Brother of Nugg, Golf Coach, and New Guy. Can they fill the shoes of the recently departed?  Let’s hope so for f-s sake – they ain’t exactly big shoes.

Things get started with three noon games – Michigan -3.5 (Captain) on ABC, Maryland -7.5 (CDes/Bink) on Big Ten Network, and UConn -7 (Dirty D) on CBSSports.  Our fourth game is at 12:30 – Clemson -17.5 (Uncle PJ) on ESPN3.  Our most popular Saturday pick – THE Notre Dame Fighting Irish -11.5 (Meehoe, Gladiator, and The King) – is a 3:30 start on ABC.  Also at 3:30, we have Georgia Tech -29 (The Whole F’N Show) on ESPN3 and an Ohio State University -39.5 (New Guy) on the Big Ten Network.  ‘Bama -35.5 (Hitman) kicks off shortly thereafter at 4 on the SEC Network.  The evening games feature Southern Meth -4.5 (Silky Johnson) on ESPN3 and Ball State +30 (Golf Coach) on ESPNU at 7.  Brother of Nugg will be scouring the internet in an effort to find ESSN so he can watch the mighty Bearcats of Cincinnati -6.5 battle at 8. At that same time, Nebraska -27 (TOMizzle) will continue regretting the firing of Fasbender’s all-time favorite coach on the Big Ten Network.  Finally, the night cap will focus on the Mississippi State Bulldogs +4 doing battle at 9:15 on the Mothership – which is nice as it gives time for Gator to get all of his hoes out on the street for what should be a lucrative evening.

As I wrote in an earlier email, I added an extra tab to the Excel sheet that contains the All-Time results for the league.  Some of our departures hold some impressive records:  Cento has the record for both worst record and lowest unit total (both records are for single season and all-time).  Well Tea holds the mark with an impressive -10 penalty points.  He also was the worst at predicting Saturday scores ATS.  At the opposite end of the spectrum you have CDes/Bink and Silky Johnson who proved to be the best at predicting today’s matchups. Silky Johnson currently also holds the record for most units won from college games.

Fun fact:  No one has ever lost their first pick of the year and gone on to win the championship.


And with that, let’s do this…

Friday, September 11, 2015

It's FinallyHere


IT'S FINALLY HERE!!

Saturday Viewing Schedule

Noon Michigan   ABC
Noon Maryland   BTN
Noon UConn   CBSS
1230 Clemson   ESPN3
3:30         ND           ABC
330         Ga Tech   ESPN3
330         OSU   BTN
4         Bama   SECN
7         SMU   ESPN3
7         BallSt   ESPNU
8         Cincy   ESSN
915         Miss St   ESPN 
8         Nebraska   BTN

After the first Saturday last year, the standings had Gladiator in first, T-$ and CDes/Bink tied for second and Dirty D in third.  It is a fact that no one has ever lost their first pick and gone on to win the Major League Lock Club Championship. Just sayin'...